1. Make sure you either have a pedicure or at least remember to trim your toenails before surgery because you will not be touching your toes for awhile.
2. Be prepared to feel every little bump in the road when you're in the car. This is definitely worse during pothole season or after a snowstorm. And always remind the driver when you're approaching railroad tracks to slow down.
3. Sneezing, coughing, laughing, and yes, choking will bring tears to your eyes more ways than one. This is definitely not the time to forget not to inhale while you're eating a cookie covered with powdered sugar. Know what I mean!
4. Elastic waist pants and granny underwear will prove that comfy trumps
5. Take the pain meds, but be prepared for the big "C" - constipation. You will begin to sound like your grandmother when you relate the highlight of the day as whether or not you've had a bowel movement.
6. What falls on the floor stays on the floor. Unless you've been working out your grabbing reflex with your toes or have one of those grabber thingys, anything that falls on the floor should be left for someone else to pick up. If it's a liquid, cover it in paper towels. If it's in the middle of the room, kick it to the side so you won't trip on it. And,
7. Wear slippers or shoes in the house. Just in case you were dumb enough to drop the container of straight pins on the rug, you won't run the risk of becoming a pin cushion.
8. Remember what I said about not touching your toes - well that should include feet. You should expect to become adept at putting on socks with one hand while standing holding onto something with the other hand. This can be a challenge for you but real entertainment for your spouse.
9. Do not go shopping in a crowded place with anyone unless you can push the cart. You will need it to guard your "sensitive" mid-section from the hustle and bustle of the crowd. In fact, taking along two people to flank you will protect you from the side-attack.
10. Get into your car butt first. Sitting down and swiveling on the seat one leg at a time is much easier than lifting one leg in and attempting to sit down. And make sure that the door is halfway open and not all the way because you will have to bend sideways to reach the handle if it's too far and you really don't want to risk tipping over and falling on the pavement.
11. Cooking is not out of the question, just make sure that the utensils you need are located were they can be reached easily. You know you'll be craving a grilled cheese sandwich and the frying pan will be in the back of lower cabinet when you want it.
12. Have several extra bed pillows on hand. That way you won't have to make multiple trips up and down the stairs when you go to bed at night and remember that the pillows you need to elevate your legs at night are still in the nest you made on the couch for sitting in comfortably during the day.