I've decided to start a "weekly feature" called Friday CPR (Chatter, Prattle, Repartee) in which I will bring you a snippet or synopsis of a conversation or observation from the school office I work in. I deal with students/children, parents, teachers, and administrators on a daily basis. Sometimes I think that I will really need CPR because these people "kill me" with their wit, or lack of it, their compassion, or lack of it, and their wisdom, or lack of it. Who would have known that a school clerk could have such a life or death job!
This week I had a conversation with a fifth grade teacher:
"I'm thinking of getting a pet for my classroom. Can I have a pet in my classroom?"
"Just kidding. What kind of pet were you thinking of?"
"Something soft and cuddly. My doctor has a cat in his office. How about a cat?"
"I don't think so. Get a hamster or a gerbil?"
"No, they remind me of a mouse. Maybe I'll get a turtle."
"You can't have a turtle because they carry salmonella. Ask the nurse."
"Oh no? No turtles?"
"Yes, no turtles. Why don't you get a hedgehog?"
"A hedgehog! Hedgehogs aren't soft and cuddly. They have spikes."
"And a turtle is soft and cuddly? Get a fish. Someone here had a fish tank they were giving away."
"I want to give the students a responsibility. I don't think fish are enough of a responsibility. Are you sure I can't have a cat? Even if I keep the door closed? My doctor has a cat and they keep it in the office with the door closed."
"Oh yeah. I bet your doctor has mice, or he had mice."
"No. He doesn't have mice. They have a nice cat that stays in the office."
"Wait a minute. What kind of a doctor keeps a cat in the office?"
"You weren't supposed to ask that question." (She says as she's backing out the door.)
"Oh no? Come on. What doctor are you talking about?"