Sunday, January 9, 2011

Reflecting

Yesterday, January 8th, was my two-year Hysterversary.  For me it is a celebration of sorts.  I celebrate that I listened to my body and sought out a doctor's opinion and thankfully, it was early enough that they were able to remove the cancer and I needed no further treatment.  Until this upcoming visit, I have been meeting with my oncologist every 4 months.  At this two-year exam I will graduate to every 6 months for another 3 years until we reach the 5-year mark.  Another goal to shoot for! 

It has been a life-changing experience for me and I'm pretty sure for my family too.  There is so much uncertainty when you're diagnosed with a disease between the time of the diagnosis and waiting for the reports after the surgery is complete.  You live in a fog basically, hoping that everything will work out to your advantage, but also vowing to yourself that you will fight for your life if need be, and do whatever is necessary. 

I look back and see how this has changed me.  I have lost a significant amount of weight, although this holiday season has seen some of that returning so I just rejoined Weight Watchers to make sure I can get the maximum benefit from their new program.  I have tried not to be so "sedentary".  That's not always easy, and although it's not a consistent effort, I still try to be active as much as I can.  And one of the other ways that I've changed is to try to avoid stressful situations.  We are all good at creating them and getting caught up in them, but they really are not healthy so I've decidedly become more "like a duck" and have things roll off me like the rain.  Sometimes that just means giving in to someone or something but not necessarily giving up.   Something that is defintely easier said than done, and not always fully accomplished.

Yes, I still have stressful situations, like a breast biopsy last month that had me in quite a state of turmoil, and the uncertainty of retaining my job when the school budget gets defeated, but those are things I can't control.  They are brought on by outside forces.  The stress I can control is that which I put on myself, whether it be waiting until the last minute to do things, or just being disorganized.  These are the things that I've begun addressing in a more aggressive way. 

I've joined the Jingle Belles blog with their weekly Christmas Card Challenge which has already helped to relieve the stress of last minute card-making in December.  And this month, HWNSNBP and I will be working on getting my stamp castle organized - this being a major activity that will also help with the destressing.  I have a plaque that reads "I'd rather have creative clutter than idle neatness" and I live by that, but creative clutter and chaos are not the same and I need to alleviate the chaos to feel more relaxed.

I decided not to make New Year's resolutions this year.  Some of them would be the same as they've always been.  Instead, I'm just going to try to be as kind and thoughtful to myself as I am to others.  I don't think it's selfish to say I'm going to take care of me, because a happier me should be a healthier me, and a healthier me means I'll be around longer to be kind and thoughtful to others.  Let's hope!

4 comments:

  1. What an amazing lady you are Lorraine! Good on your for knowing that you have to take care of yourself FIRST! I hope those close to you appreciate that you such a neat person & give you the support you deserve.
    I wish you all the good luck with your health issues & keep you in my prayers. Hope that's ok with you?
    Your blog gives me alot of oy & if I am feling a bit blue (I'd rather be feeling PINK 'cause that's my fave colour!) I jump onot the Internet & check out what you've been up to! I LOVE your photo's & littel stories of where you have been what's roaming in your backyard - I think you live in Paradise with all those gorgeous deer etc you photograph! I am so jealous!
    I believe you will be fine health wise, you are a strong lady & you never give up. That's such a great attitude:-)
    Have a fantastic 2011 & keep making those awesome cards etc!
    Hugs from Sunshine in NZ
    www.ihearttostamp.blogspot.com

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  2. Beautiful post!! And I'm 5 years post total hysterectomy. Not for cancer, but for endometriosis and poly-cystic ovarian disease.

    Let me know if there's ever anything I can do, or if you just want to talk. You can access my e-mail add from my blog. :)

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  3. I think no resolutions is good, but the non-resolution you have made is a good one and important. I think as a woman, and I am sure that it must be even more so as a mother, it can be hard to take the time we need for ourselves, there's always something else.
    And if you get your bicycle in the Spring, well, that will be great exercise. The one time I put on weight was when I stopped cycling to work, so it must be good that way. I wish I could take a leaf from your book about letting things outside my control roll off me - I'm just not good at that.

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  4. As I read your post I felt like you were writing about me.. I had so many of those same fears these last 4 months. I too will have to be closely monitored and that next visit in 5 months scares me so..

    I am so glad that you have had great results and I pray that they continue. It is not easy.

    I am also happy to hear that you are taking care of the most important thing and that is YOU..
    Hugs my friend. Thank you for all your support and may this year bring you continued good health..

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